Jadedisland
A Kawaii Memoir

Poetry

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Posts tagged Social Norms
The Invisible Climax

I think I’m in a lot pain yet having no gain

Reaching towards the invisible climax

Only to realize it’s the illusion of what my life is

This is the reality they call corporate biz

I hate it ya know, walking on tip toes

Thinking if I’m careful I’ll be in the know

Despite the fact I’m struggling

Fabulously failing,

Dedicated dying

On an invisible climax I call success

Mixtape Friendship

Written 05/10/18

Doll it out, advertise it, market the kindness in every track. Sell it like an addiction, but disguise it as a trend. 

I'm kind, I love your outfits, we are the best of friends. I'll take care of you until the end, we are ride or die. 

 

Track one, completed the introduction and the lure of an intimacy in a friendly relationship seduction. 

Track two, the first memory, at last, a memory to last lifetimes. 

Track three, the first slip up, why did they do this to me?

Track four, forgiveness cause it'll be fine.

Track five, memories to hold you in place. 

Track six, fuck. 

Track seven, messed up again, more slip up...begging for forgiveness. 

Track eight, the whispers to other people. The rumors and fake smiles

Track nine, they stop listening but were you ever listened to?

Track Ten, times up, they are gone. 

 

Bonus Track you're left wondering where you went wrong, as the memories flood in with the orchestra serenading one last diss track. 

 

Welcome to the toxic friendship mixtape. 

- MC Empress Jade

When Perfection Crumbles

Written 05/01/18

Smile. Wave. Pose. Compliment. 

The cycle of perception crafted when my life is a deception. 

Keep it together. 

One like is good enough, it's acceptable because it means you're accepted. 

It’s not enough. 

Yes, it’s enough, be proud of the image, be proud of the persona.

It’s never enough, in the percentage and calculation of social management, 

In the fine line between reality and presentation. 

Who is crafted becomes the obsession of a life so managed for those viewing it and loving it.

- Jade 

 

Just Once

Please, is a whisper from a special type of beggar. There is a desperation in these words that asks for pride to be set aside. Just apologize, just once is a plea.


Yes, it hurts those words that rival the first serpent. Yes, those temptations to succumb to despair came out of that mouth. The mess of falling hair, and tear-stained care is never enough to pull out these apologies.


Is this suffering not enough? That that the mere idea of apologizing is a rash on your tongue. Pain is the cause of your swelling throat so conveniently blessed with silence? How much does it take for a couple words or a moment of empathy. Can you never do wrong?


It's not you that's the problem. Nor is it the actions done by your hands, your lips, or your mind. Those words will never fall from your lips. Never to remind the victim they still matter. This is the game isn't it, to see how many apologies it takes to know my place. An apology suits a loser not those worthy of fame. That's narcissism, never one to take the blame. Always there to remind the beggar that apologies are lame.

 

~ Jade 🌵