A Kawaii Memoir


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Posts tagged Modern Dating
ID’s Natural Market

Written 04/19/18

The affliction of lust, boils the blood intimately.  Driving skin to crave warm caresses, and dive in the decadence of soiled sheets.

The pleasure of innocence lost, and knowledge at the climax. Perhaps it’s a study session in climaxes. There is intricacy in connection at the apex of smooth thighs, or decibels of pleasure ridden cries.

Smut dripping smiles, that beckon the weary to experience a physical inquiry. One that rides, and dines in all the right places leaving sticky faces.

The mess of lust is a market of fine dining, and workouts that leave us all breathless. Riddled with intensity or laughter, or hushed words of love in the middle.

The things said during the dance of sweaty bodies, the ones that leave the mind curious if there’s more beyond the decadence of touches and thrusts. Unaware that even here there is no trust.

The sheets don’t hold promises, only the mess of quick orgasms and unsatisfaction. The pillow talk, mindless in its abandoned insertions of the faces never staying long. The truth of intimacy is not a place to belong when the soul is searching for love on the wrong tongue.


- Lost in you, Jade 🌵 

Not Wild Anymore

 Written: 04/04/18

It’s easy not being wild for you now

as my desire rots at your memory

this heart no longer emotionally endows.

It’s a blessing to feel illusions dwindle

where the story I crafted turns to reality

and the vision of you will never rekindle.

What once was my wish to feel a kiss

from lying lips with charming words

is now the narrative of loveless abyss.

It’s all gone, that wild loving feeling

Nothing about you will ever be appealing

All of our hidden truths are finally revealing.


~ Jade 🌵 

The Way Your Body Bends

Written 02/03/17

When we met I didn't know, know you saw me as a goddess. You viewed me far better and beyond the ugliness of the scars in my mind. The corrupting memories that I thought made my body ugly. You told me I was divine, that i was beyond your vocabulary to describe but you tried anyway. 

In our intimate moments, we cherished one another, hiding our perceived imperfections even though we saw one another as beautiful. I feared that you would see the ugly experiences on my body. Fearing that you would condemn my body as useless. Tell me my body and everything I am was less than your desires.

How wrong my mind comprehended desire cause come our date of cheesesteaks and teriyaki we sat together and I asked.  I asked what about me you found attractive, anticipating that you would tell me what you didn't like. You answered with a smile, the way my body bends. 

I laughed, as i understood the way an artist like you would view me, to see me move and exist and love me more. I held your hand and watched that smile reach your eyes as it remembered how my body bends. 

Embezzling my Heart it's gotta Stop (2017)

Written 09/04/17

This a moment where I’m pleading to a blurred crowd of potentials. In this crowd is the mirage of growth and love that presents itself as a friend or lover... actually call it a swipe. That’s what we do these days right? Swipe with this funny kindling of hope that maybe your value is worth someone’s gaze. Instead it’s a instant message maze. Wondering at 3 in the morning if things between you and them are beautiful or simply temporary gratifications and affections. At noon, when I’m glancing at my phone curious what happened to the attention at the witching hours I’m saddened. 

I don’t understand this part of the book. I liked our hands intertwined, and our blushing eroticism, and so I thought you did to. You said as much under moonlight, but wait only in moonlight. Oh. I see now. I’ve done it again. What do I do, when pieces of me get snatched from an anonymous heart. What do I do when I learn about false intimacy? I’ve been told I keep walking, and don’t look back but it’s hard when the best scammer smiled and said “I love you”