Jadedisland
A Kawaii Memoir

Poetry

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Posts tagged Living
Childhood Home

Written 05/10/18

When walking the streets of a hometown

a familiar dread sets in

memories rush in

thoughts get cloudy

lamps turn on, and everything is closed as you're settling in.

I'm stuck here. Again I'm stuck. 

Morning comes, and life passes on the same streets

and quirky neighborhood symbols strut bye. 

Greet your parents, then greet the tree from your youth

Time goes by and you remember that freedom isn't

in your childhood home. 

Wake up next morning and it's all there again.

Again its home, the same home you've been stuck in from the time your soul popped out into the world

your childhood home, Again.

- Stuck Empress

 

 

Lost Millennial Generation

We don’t know who we are anymore.

We were lost in the sea. No lost on land.

Just lost.

This is the cost we must pay, despite the fact we did not run up this tab. We were never here to destroy the world that we live in. Instead just born into the corrupt environment that they blame us for. This is why we are lost. What can we give of ourselves when we are too busy fixing the mistakes of those before us. How can we identify when the world cries. How can we prove our worth as a generation. We are healing the scars of generations but it is a slow journey. We are seeking the knowledge abandoned by the mighty white conquerors but much is lost. We are creating a place safer for the fluctuating definition of what life means to us, but it is met by cruelty. So yes we are lost, but not by our doing. We are trapped in the cycle of fixing and fixing. Taking what messes they that came before us made and making miracles. Reshaping the complexity and uniqueness of humanity. Voicing the history of those forgotten. Understanding each other better. We take care of you, we save you, we protect you. Still we are lost only guided by bitterness, fear, and judgement from the mess makers before us.

Still we are lost, the me among the rest of the Millennials. Lost fixing and being the best of ourselves under the weight of generations. ~ Jade 🌵

We see Ourselves in Shadows


WRITTEN: 04/03/18

Why is it that we see ourselves in shadows? A version of our existence that extends itself before us. It's not just light, and tricks that follow us, but the memory of our presence in this time and place. It is the reminder that here in this moment you are living, and no matter what shadows encase us we exist.


So we see ourselves in our shadows, whether it is the moment we step outside or in the space where we stand. We see ourselves when we sit and when we grieve. We see ourselves among others and alone. No matter where we are, our shadows are there, an afterthought to the time and space we choose to exist in.


A reminder of the life we lead. An afterimage to the existence of the person we were meant to be.

 

~ Jade

Like Tired Roses

 Written 02/26/18 

I am tired. All my roses have died, but I remember their petals and essence along my body. I remember the color like I remember their memories. The sensation of their heat on my worn hands lingers over my violin strings. The glass that held cupid's love, is filled with lukewarm attentions and murky messages. So you see,I am tired of love that comes in the form of dying flowers. I cling to their form, seeking the eternal. I cling to their form lusting for the immortal.

How I miss these roses, those delicate petals, the ones that carcassed like fairies on my skin and danced like sin in my bathwater. While I desire the truth, for why my love in you inspires. I would much rather feel that you love yourself more than you love a woman like me. I’m that woman who smiles at flowers, and kisses the thorns away, bleeding in loyalty, treating that soul like royalty. I am the garden, I am your home, one day you’ll realize the tears that built this place were not created alone. The tears that built who I am, came from the memories of tired blood-red roses. 

 

- Jade 🌹