Jadedisland
A Kawaii Memoir

Poetry

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My Friend you Inspire me (2016)

Written 12/03/16

I don't like that you give up on yourself. I don't like that I can't help you and I wish I was a better friend. I want to be a person that can inspire you to live on, but I can't even inspire myself to live. I wish that things would get better, I wish you could see the survivor that I see. 

I know the world has his troubles and I know it is difficult to wake up each day, but one-day things will get better. One day you'll find a genuine smile, one day you'll love somebody worth it, one day you'll realize what a good friend you are. One day you will feel valued, one day you will see the amazing things you have done. 

I want to apologize for being naïve enough to think that I could help you and that I could encourage you to be the best person that you could be. I was wrong..I can't encourage you properly when I can't encourage myself and it's not right for me to lie. I'm lying when I say I'm a good example for survivor cause I'm really not. I am merely a facade of humanity. 

These nights alone are a hell created by the mind. I can sympathize because I know what it's like to wake up and suffer the idea of living and it's difficult to walk with confidence, pride, and joy. It's difficult to believe in the things that are positive and healthy when you are everything that it is not. It's difficult to be something you don't feel anymore. It's difficult to lie. 

We deserve better. We deserve to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be and I don't know if being friends with me it's toxic or if I am any help at all I don't know if I inspire you to fly or discourage you but for me you do inspire me. You're living is an inspiration to me and I want you to know this. You inspire me and you matter.