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Hailstorm Around Aurora (2017)

Written 09/16/17

What shatters you is never what you expect, I think in this moment... I felt like glass when the reality of my strength hit me with the force of hailstorm dropping raw diamonds. Each second took this force, this relentless rattle of thoughts and memories coming down all around me, but only experienced inside the space of my mind. 

It was so harsh a feeling that came from such a gentle moment. The type of experience that sounds beautiful but feels like the pricks of a thousands needles, but I’m no sleeping beauty... I’m not waking up to a better reality, I’m greeting it sober and so awake that I wished like a child for my life to be a fairytale when instead... I’m an adult crouched under the skies dropping diamonds and told to pick it up and walk off the pain because I’m past the age of fantasy and whims. 

The dream is Aurora, but the reality is stuck in a hailstorm. God did I wish to leave, and stop this feeling, that compels me to isolate faster and further than an island... but I know that no matter where I go this hailstorm is following me... even when I’m wishing for the pricks to turn me into a princess