Jadedisland
A Kawaii Memoir

Poetry

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Embezzling my Heart it's gotta Stop (2017)

Written 09/04/17

This a moment where I’m pleading to a blurred crowd of potentials. In this crowd is the mirage of growth and love that presents itself as a friend or lover... actually call it a swipe. That’s what we do these days right? Swipe with this funny kindling of hope that maybe your value is worth someone’s gaze. Instead it’s a instant message maze. Wondering at 3 in the morning if things between you and them are beautiful or simply temporary gratifications and affections. At noon, when I’m glancing at my phone curious what happened to the attention at the witching hours I’m saddened. 

I don’t understand this part of the book. I liked our hands intertwined, and our blushing eroticism, and so I thought you did to. You said as much under moonlight, but wait only in moonlight. Oh. I see now. I’ve done it again. What do I do, when pieces of me get snatched from an anonymous heart. What do I do when I learn about false intimacy? I’ve been told I keep walking, and don’t look back but it’s hard when the best scammer smiled and said “I love you”