Jadedisland

Poetry

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Borrowed Time (2017)

Written 11/03/17

My sister told me “in the end it’ll just be you”, a little advice for my declining social life. Yes even at her age, a little sorrow and strife. Trust that everyone leaves, that’s the way to protect yourself... 

Borrowed time, that’s how we live. We open arms to love so genuinely but anticipate disappearance the next night. We live like we don’t expect people to stay. It’s easy. Easier? 

To withdraw is the acknowledgement you’re disappearing, and I expected this to happen.  No, wrong. To withdraw is to say I’m saving myself from the pain of your disappearance. To withdraw is to curl into my self and cry alone, and think about it all. To contemplate the choices that led another one out the door. Is it me? A rhyme and a song. Am I just not worth sticking around for? In my house we live as borrowed time. It’s easy. Easier? 

It’s borrowed time to be my friend, I feel. I feel so much and it’s not easy, never easy at all. It’s never easy to be alone in the end. 

It’s never easy to smile, and try again. When will living be easier, and less of a monotone in the choir of the cosmos.