Chapter 2: The Art of Confession
"I love you. Maybe?" It sounds a lot better in my head than in person.
Still, the whimsical moments and emotional espionage that is love are thriving in the month of February. Despite the fact, this is the time to celebrate black history month. I'll dive into my heritage and more in another post. Today I wish to address confessing your feelings for someone. It's frightening, the bubbling feeling of care for someone in a context past friendships. What are you supposed to do with it? Let it settle in the void of your Netflix history? No darling, let us confront these feelings and acknowledge them. Let us discover the blossoming romantic comedy that's about to occur in your life.
Whether you met on a dating app, mutual friends, or perhaps a coworker that first indication your heart is more than its biological functions is startling. That taste of romantic intentions is riveting. Personally, I found loving someone to be its own muse. I've only loved three times in my life. Two past people, and one current. Each love has been different, and each love taught its own lessons and had me grow. However, it would be foolish of me to not mention that love sometimes can be unhealthy. Identifying what type of love you have for a person is just as important in the process of confession.
While under the southern California sun, I was confronting my feelings. Whether my feelings should exist in the manner it does. I wrote about it, I dreamt about it, and pictured scenarios about how things potentially may end up. Often it is the fear of the first step that stops the adventure. I won't lie, I was afraid. I was afraid my love would exist in a negative proximity for the rest of my life. I would be swept up into toxic behaviours, and my kindness and heart decimated making another human being better. I was not meant for that, and neither are you.
You deserve love. So when you find your feelings bubbling and fizzing, and all-out popping out of control confront it. Take the reins and direct your feelings to the next step. Tell them. Tell them their hair flips in a way you might write poetry about. Dazzle them with flowers or snapchat cookies that remind you of them. Whatever you may say, consider your confession as such:
Action + Genuine Self
The Action is the deed. You might find it to be in a phone call, a poem, your artwork, a speakeasy, a dance, or even a letter. Whatever the action it needs to center towards your style, not some Nicholas Sparks novel. Cause lets be real, for a romance novel they are high key trash when it comes to the niche of confessions. The point is, the action is the move in which you express your feelings.
Genuine self is the soul magic. This is what sets you apart from Nicholas Sparks romance plot, or American soap operas. Be true to yourself. One thing that kills me about people finding out I like them, is they assume I'm writing a sonnet or some poetic nonsense to do so. When I have feelings, sure I'll write about it. My diary has stayed true since middle school. When I am ready to express my feelings, I'll step beyond my page and say it. For me, it is my brave action, using my voice to say whats in my heart.
Be the heart you give
See, confessions when they are genuine to you there isn't any doubt, question, or concern. You took your chance, you stepped out of character, and chose to approach something new. You can feel good about it, whether it leads to positive or negative actions. Which is why it's important to accept the results. Yes, you were brave, you did this romantic deed. You produced the confidence to confront your feelings and do something about them. Sure its possible this leads to success, but it can lead to failure. Regardless, accept that the person your heart had in mind might not be at your level of feeling. It's important to respect their boundaries and do so with grace.
Taking the L with a smile might open up a different door into the romantic world. Who knows, depending on the manner of your confession you might get the happy ending you needed and not what you expected. I think having results, good or bad is better than having nothing at all. So take the chance, you have all month to take that step.
Forever and always in a lover aesthetic, Empress Jade