Chapter 31: Setting Emotive Goals
Empress & her Spectacle: Setting Emotive Goals
As we set forth into a new year, I want to encourage you to set an emotional development goal for yourself for the new year. I recommend having a goal that isn’t just “New year, new me” or “Hit the gym.” For 2018, my emotional development goal was, “Be realistic without cruelty.” An odd turn of phrase, but one I felt needed to be worked on to encourage me away from a negative disposition. It worked. Not without trial and error, but all of 2018 I worked on making sure that when I was perceiving or analyzing any situation with a realistic lens, I made sure how I handled those situations or information was without cruelty. The idea was to take situations in and use that information without harm to myself or another. The sad thing about being realistic is its easy to forget the aftermath of how our words, language and actions affect others or ourselves. I worked on changing that mindset.
Developing an Emotive Goal:
Goals for self-improvement don’t have to be physical all the time. I’ve found that setting a goal for emotional development shapes my life differently. Typically, I work with one at a time, but if you’re strong willed, you can handle three emotive goals at a time without overloading your mental and emotive capabilities. I am not ashamed to only work on one at a time, I find it ingrains itself more intimately into my inner being that way. So, let’s talk about what it means to create an emotive goal.
It’s not “New year new me” ready and easy to say. It’s a commitment to fix or adjust something about ourselves in an interpersonal way or something to help our emotional health. You’ll find it requires some intimate reflection and understanding of your perception of self. This might be a good time to explore journaling, or imaging a visual of the voice inside of you. Perhaps you noticed my “guides” on Jadedisland? I’m not saying you need to commission a local artist to explore your inner voices (you should its really fun), but it might help to create a visual or narrative of what makes you navigate life. Start asking questions along the lines of, “What represents me,” look into how you respond to situations, styles, people, and life in general.
The next step is examining things you felt in your responses could go differently. If you found a few, start putting it into words or visuals, if you like vision boards or crafts for self-development. Some examples that might encourage your emotive thinking I’ve listed below. Feel free to take it as an emotive goal if it resonates with you. I will list an example issue and an example emotive goal to go with it.
Impatience with the response – “Take more time to respond with care.”
Losing friends – “Trust that friendships will be genuine as long as I am.”
Blunt about hard situations – “Be Realistic without cruelty.”
Feelings of Isolation – “Take time to be intimate with my inner self, to love myself.”
Feelings of loneliness – “Explore social opportunities outside of my home.”
Using Self-hating language – “Re-frame my feelings of hurt towards myself into action of change into something I love about myself.”
Lack of understanding social/political issues – “Ask for clarity without dismissing the issue.”
People don’t care about *example* - “Find a way to care about the idea or issue without needing validation.”
Overworking to exhaustion – “Ask yourself if there is time for self-care, and make sure there is.”
Hopefully, this helps inspire some emotive goals that will make a difference for your inner peace and mindset. If you have a goal that you want to share, please do! I might not be the best at keeping my gym goals, but one thing I know I can help with is emotive goals. Self-expression and development is something on keen on sharing in my own way. Working towards more fulfilling self-love and exploration is the goal of all my writing, and why I explore how I navigate my life. If you feel you need help building an emotive goal, you can now email or message me at your discretion. Let’s start the new year with goals of internal improvement and build a fierce but healthy mindset.