A Kawaii Memoir


The various moments in my life, along with advice, motivations and fashionable perspectives. 


I had a situation at work today, and I wanted to reflect on communication blunders.

This morning Manager ONE sent me an email that said “Jade, Can you contact the building mgmt. company and let them know one of the access fobs for our suite is not working. Thank you, -Manager ONE”. I do that.

SO I respond with what the building people say, seeking to get more information and share what they told me.

I say: “CoWorker Two, From Building Manager Two : (Is the access fob not working for the building front doors or your suite door? If for the building doors, please provide the card number and I will check on it. If for the suite door, that is the tenant’s responsibility and we do not monitor those panels, so you would need to contact your monitoring company. Please let me know if that is helpful, or if you have any additional questions.)

Which door is not opening for you?”

Addressing the person CoWorker Two the coworker who had the problem, but CC-ing Manager ONE to let her know.

Manager ONE: “Hi Jade, As per my email it is the suite access. Please contact the monitoring company. Thank you, Manager ONE”

CoWorker Two: “The issue is  with the back door to our suite. I can enter the building fine using the white key card. The problem is when I go upstairs, and try to enter the office with my black circular fob, it appears locked. I haven’t tried the front of the office, so I’m not sure if that works either. I believe from the message below that we need to contact our monitoring company.”

I want to make note that I tried to respond as politely as I could, “Good Morning, In the previous email the information was not explicitly clear as to which access pad was giving issue. There are two pads, one to the second floor itself, and one to the back door to the office. I only use the front door, and do not have much experience with the access pads out the back way since I hardly use them .Now that information is more explicitly given, I will take next steps and contact our monitoring company.

Thank you,-Jade”

Manager ONE then comes over and tells me in person “ Jade I was very clear in my email, I need you to pay attention better I know your busy and I’m busy but I shouldn’t have to repeat myself.” – She has me pull up the email and even then I’m like it was not clear…she says again “I need you to pay attention better I have a lot going on and don’t have time to repeat myself. Do you understand” – I grind my teeth smile and say okay.


Am I crazy or was that not poor communication and her expecting me to pay attention to blank space…instead of just communicating better was foul.

In the space of this situation I went through a series of emotions. From Disgust, to Disappoint, to Despair. The triple D’s of work grief. I could not believe that I had such a negative rainbow of feelings all at once but all I responded was “Okay” with a smile. Soon after the situation I was crying but still trying to maintain the customer service prep while answering the phone. I know that I can communicate well. I know that I have degree to verify that. A 50K debt worth piece of paper showing my intellect in two fields of study. I broke down thinking it was my miscommunication that caused this blunder but I was wrong.

Holding yourself accountable I’ve come to find is missing in America. I don’t know if its been missing since Columbus “discovered” the new world that was already inhabited. Might even consider this idea of missing accountability further historically but at some point we must realize you cannot hope to change for the better until you start holding yourself accountable. I really felt like my intelligence was in question, and I was prepared to hold myself accountable but then I realized. Accountability needs to swing both ways from lower grunts like unpaid administrative assistants to management. When I look at the situation I found the perfect example of the importance of accountability. The refusal to even consider any misdeeds big or small is the difference between growth and stagnation. I trust that this situation enlightens you to what you could do for yourself.

Per my emails, I realized in reflection, that I am not okay with someone not holding themselves accountable. I’m also equally not okay with trusting my career and professionalism with someone who refuses to do the same or even care for the welfare of all employees. As of this moment I am looking for other work, so please slide over prospects to jadespoeticwhims@gmail.comso that my skills and assets are put forth in a positive space.

- Jadedisland