Jadedisland
A Kawaii Memoir

Mentality

The various moments in my life, along with advice, motivations and fashionable perspectives. 

E&HS: Level 3 Dating Tips

Empress & her Spectacle: Level 3 Dating Tips

Despite the various brands of water, we all have a preference for what water we like just slightly better. I'll be honest, and say I think Fiji water, despite its glamorous claims, tastes dry. Like fancy water, a pretty cover doesn't guarantee a good taste. Interpersonal communications are the same way. Dressing well or presentation can mean very little if once your mouth opens the conversation is dry and uninteresting. Plenty of well-meaning words get lost because effective communication is surprisingly not a skill prioritized in our lives.

Picture this. You're sitting in a cafe, talking about the latest video game news at the E3 conference. Joy, enthusiasm, and genuine excitement are felt in your words. You look towards your date and see them more actively engaged in their phone then the news about Skyrim. So what went wrong? Was it you, being too hype or perhaps it was them checking Black Twitter. Regardless the hope, and joy that came from a potential date is lost in this conversation. Many social blunders come from our day to day actions, whether it be through conversations online or in person. Creating a relationship of any kind begins in conversation. 

When talking to your date keep these things in mind:

  • Make sure your gestures and expressions are positive or neutral

  • Avoid asking invasive and harsh questions

  • Explicitly state your intentions and don't be vague

  • Trust your instincts

Communicate like Tuxedo Mask

We communicate, to convey our needs and wants. However, we also communicate to express ourselves and show our interests. Our interpersonal communications are more important than we give it credit for. Consider any anime romantic comedy. If it wasn't for the blundering around and flower motifs would our fated protagonist get with the one they love? I'm just saying with some well-timed falling flowers, and a great one-liner you too could be Tuxedo Mask. 

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As the great sea witch, Ursula once said, " Don't underestimate the importance of body language". My fashion inspiration aside, the great sea witch is right. Our bodies play a big part in our interpersonal communication. While, I spent many hours watching Lie to Me, and various other crime shows, i cannot claim to be an expert on reading body language. What I can claim is the knowledge that in all these stories, the physical displays by the troublemaker really gives them away. So during dates, how we present ourselves can be the deciding factor for how the whole event plays out. Engaging physical actions and attentive listening can inspire interests and promote longer conversations. In contrast, slouched shoulders and my favorite whimsical gaze out of window shows less interest and tends to make dates end faster. 

Conversation is art. It takes focus, reception, engagement, and attention. Once you've knocked that out the way you're ready to level up. So throw your roses, and have forks as combs and talk with the person you intend to keep in your life.


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