Chapter 33: Creative Seeds of Doubt
Empress & Her Spectacle: Creative Seeds of Doubt
A feeling I come across a lot is not feeling good enough. Especially when it comes to my art and creativity. There is a driving need to feel like without a consumer-driven measurement of validation my art, my voice, and my creativity is useless. Do I blame Instagram and Facebook for that? Hell yes. Well, a tiny “hell yes” because the seed for this doubt lies within me. So I can’t push all the blame on social media algorithms.
I’m afflicted with this creators disease called “Damn-they-did-that-Itis.” Meaning, I admire the creativity and potential of those around me and 100% investing in it and more. Meanwhile, thinking to myself, “I can never create anything as magical or powerful as this.” This inverted admiration is both highly positive but equally negative. The reason is, in the space of my creative doubt, my lack of confidence in my creativity hinders me from believing in myself enough to create. So how do I overcome this? How can I admire so wholeheartedly but still compare myself so negatively?
It boils down to mentality, a common theme you find me writing about here. Reworking emotional and mental energy is a part of just who I am, and what I like to share. I’ve seen that thinking my art is good enough is not going to happen at the Thanos Snap of the fingers. No, instead, it is just a bit easier to re-frame my admiration. Consider it a cheat sheet to building confidence, work ethic, and creating more. Instead of holding on to the words “Wow, I could never be that good” try shaping your response internally to “I will be that good.” It both admires your fellow creative and gives you a positive space to think in and work for. When you put down yourself in the space of admiring another, are you really admiring the other artist in a good way? People don’t create to make you feel you sorry about your own creativity, they are creating to share what they loved, learned, or wish to say. How we listen and respond to that is essential.
Having ups and downs about what you create is normal, but work on feeling your creativity is valuable. Someone out there needs to see it, someone out there needs to feel it, and someone out there needs the inspiration from it. Sure, doubt is a fickle seed that can grow pretty fast. What we do with that seed is cultivate it into motivation and inspiration to strive for more as we create what we love. If you know someone like me, with that “Damn-they-did-that-Itis” send them my way, I’ve got a lot of love I can send their way. A little encouragement can go a long damn way for creatives.