Chapter 46: Reviewing Selfcare Methods
Empress & Her Spectacle: Reviewing Selfcare Methods
I’m not going to lie. In fact, I’ll be honest about how my pride can be the most prominent wall for me to overcome both in positive and negative directions. I had a social media blunder. Well actually let’s call it a “social media occurrence,” because like anything on social media it’s small, blows up big, and then fades away into the archives of the web. I was frustrated. I mean, it really felt that no matter how open I am to collaborate and contribute it means nothing without the social media popularity. I was hurt, wounded in Leo like pride over something so small but yet so significant to my writing career and me establishing myself as a writer in a specific niche. I take my writing and how people respond to it very seriously. In fact, I even experience irritation when people say “Jaded Island” as two words when I purposely unite it as one. All these things I realize is just another sign of me trying to grasp invisible control over my world and my life. I just don’t accept failure well, and trying to amend that issue and care for myself in that time is difficult, and often I’m the most vulnerable when my pride is hurt.
As gutted as I was this week to see a slight so small, I started to reevaluate some of my self-care that I do when I’m overthinking social media and letting my pride get the best of me. One of the first things I try to do is put some time in a hobby or favorite hands-on past time. I’ve found that occupying my hands helps my mind declutter as I focus on what’s right in front of me. When I focus on crafting or even something like reading a physical book, I force my mind to step away from the hyper-focus of a social media issue. Mainly so that when I do revisit that feeling, I’m not overwhelmed by the voice I name “Dark Jade.” Anger is powerful, and the many facets of it can drive you to do unimaginable things or even really simple ridiculous things. Anything that is done in anger never ends well, which is why before I pop off I refocus or try to decompress issues as gently and honestly away from anger.
The second step of my self-care and also the final for social media blunders I stepping away from it for a little while. I try to be kind enough to say, “hey, I’m out of energy I’ll be back again at a later date.” I know that any of my actual friends will message me away from social media, and I appreciate that. While occupying my hands is my first step it only works when I actually put social media away and don’t receive notifications or reminders of that space that drove me to feel distressed. I heavily advocate for social media breaks big and small to keep sane. How people use networking and social media can be hurtful and cruel. There is not a lot of empathy or care in it, no matter how many hearts react, you put up. So take time, to exist with just you and something tangible in front of you. For me, I do collage art, beading, and every now and again pull tarot cards to put my heart at ease. There is something out there that you can to do that will occupy you long enough to decompress. Whatever that may be will become your personal mental retreat. Self-care can show in many ways, it’s okay if it’s not bubble baths or binge-watching anime. Do what you need to succeed in finding the energy you need to thrive.