Dual wield Ranger - Belladonna

My words linger on the idea in my adventures, all while seeking out a world I often feel the need to protect others from. The knight is my old soul still on the adventure of a lifetime.

You'll find this guide swinging around my posts about my adventures in the city and more. 

Black 365: Forgive Yourself


Please forgive yourself. In a time of strength continually being called for from Black women, it’s easy to punish ourselves when things aren’t to the nines. Activism requires a lot of energy. People living the luxury of being adjacent to minority issues demand emotional labor on issues you live in real-time. I apologize that I don’t just experience these issues in a newsfeed. 

It is exhausting being a black femme. No one comes to bat for you but others that look like you. So forgive yourself for missing out on the rage-filled timelines. Forgive yourself for taking a break about arguing the ridiculousness of pink pussy hats and why black lives matter. Forgive yourself for blocking the 78th person to ask you what you’re mixed with. Forgive yourself for ignoring thin lusty lips happy to bestow a bedroom disaster upon black skin. Yes, it’s time-consuming to be strong. It is a job that gets bestowed upon you out the womb. One that collects tax when fathers abandon you in your youth. Being strong is the price that black femmes are continually paying. 

I remember what it was like hearing “you didn’t use to be like this” as a response to me needing a break from the onslaught of black killing put to causal conversations like a trendy latte order. Taken aback by the fact that I needed some time to not talk about things, but to rest, and let my mind find a grain of peace. It was wrong to physically let the words “can we not talk about this for a while” slip my lips. I forgave myself for the feeling that it’s wrong to take a break. I forgave myself by cutting ties and letting arguments die in blue bubbles on Facebook with a read receipt stamp gleaming. I didn’t deserve to be cast to guilt like Jesus on the cross for asking for a break from being strong. Can a black femme not be a 100% mortal combat fighter for a day, nah an hour at least. 

I know I started in this world, paying the tax for strength during emotional labor, over-sexualization, and speaking my truths. Never expected that tax would keep rising. To keep demanding my time and effort for people who forget about me being a human being. A bitch is tired. I have to forgive myself where no one else will. Why? I have to forgive myself for being human in a time that views me as anything but that. It pains me to remind myself that I need to forgive myself for doing the bare minimum of social self-care that everyone else is rich with. 

Forgive Yourself.



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Thank you for reading, sharing, or commenting on a “Black 365” piece! Please consider looking into some other resources for mental health as a black femme! You matter and need to forgive yourself to be your best self. - Jadedisland

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